By Anonymous Sources** Close to the DNC – Leaked Exclusively to Glowie Rag
**Who May or May Not Exist (and Probably Don’t) — Exclusively Imagined by the Warped Minds at Glowie Rag
In the smoke-filled rooms of Democratic Party headquarters, where ambition goes to die, a decision was made: Jasmine Crockett has to go. Not with fanfare or a graceful bow-out—no, that would be too honest for a party built on illusion. Instead, they’re handing her a golden ticket to a fool’s errand: a U.S. Senate run in ruby-red Texas. It’s the perfect off-ramp, the kind of “promotion” that clears the deck without admitting failure. Sources familiar with the internal discussions (who spoke on condition of anonymity because they value their access) describe it as “the Beto play”—elevate the liability to a safe dead-end, let ego do the rest, and wave goodbye.
Crockett, the Dallas congresswoman whose viral rants have made her a Democratic darling in blue bubbles, filed for Senate on December 8, 2025, just hours before the deadline. The timing? Impeccable. It came right after former Rep. Colin Allred bailed on the race, citing a “bruising primary” that would “prevent unity.” Translation: The DNC wanted a sacrificial lamb, and Crockett fit the bill. “She’s got the energy, the clips, the base in Dallas,” one insider said. “But statewide? She’s poison. Cornyn would eat her alive. This way, she thinks she’s a star, and we get her out of the House without a messy primary fight.”
It’s the Democrats’ classic maneuver: audition the useful idiots, promote the liabilities to irrelevance, and flush the rest. Like Beto O’Rourke in 2018—fed the “I can win Texas” delusion, watched him flame out against Ted Cruz, then sidelined him to a podcast and failed gubernatorial bid. Crockett’s no different. Her district’s a safe blue haven where her “Governor Hot Wheels” jabs and “not a crime to enter illegally” gaffes play to the choir. But statewide? In a state that hasn’t sent a Democrat to the Senate since 1993? It’s a suicide mission disguised as ambition.
The Audition That Failed: Crockett’s House Tenure as Democratic Theater
Crockett was the DNC’s perfect auditionee: a civil rights lawyer with TikTok-ready fire, elected in 2022 to the 30th District as the “anti-AOC” without the socialism. She delivered the viral moments—roasting Project 2025 as “waste theater,” shouting down FBI Director Wray on child trafficking stats, defending Biden’s “Sleepy Joe” as a feature for “sleeping at night.” The party loved it: fundraising spiked, clips dominated MSNBC, and she became the face of “progressive energy” without threatening the establishment.
But the audition soured. Her unfavorables ballooned—polls show 49% of Texas Democrats “definitely not voting for her” in a primary. Republicans like John Cornyn and Ken Paxton are salivating, with Cornyn calling her “theatrical and ineffective” and Paxton predicting a “double-digit” loss. Even Allred’s exit feels orchestrated: “A bruising primary would hurt unity,” he said—code for “don’t let Crockett drag us down.” Insiders whisper the DNC fed her internal polls showing a “path to victory” (the kind that assumes turnout miracles), knowing full well it’s a mirage. “It’s kinder than admitting she’s a liability,” one source quipped. “Let her chase the dream, and we get a clean slate.”
This isn’t incompetence—it’s calculus. The Democrats audition “stupid people” who’ll toe the line, promote them when useful (OAC’s House rise), and sideline the rest when they rot the brand. Crockett’s “large amount of stupidity” (as one strategist put it) became national embarrassment fodder. Her “Hot Wheels” disability jab? Backlash even from allies. “Not a crime to enter illegally”? A Top 5 congressional blunder. In a brainless Dallas bubble, it works. Statewide, it’s a clown car.
The Narcissist’s Firing: Crockett’s Ego Buys the Lie
Here’s the genius cruelty: Crockett’s narcissism seals the deal. The DNC whispers “you’re our star—you can flip Texas!” and she buys it hook, line, and sinker. Like Beto believing he was the “future of the party” until 2022’s gubernatorial flop.
If she ever realized this Senate run is just a polite firing, she’d scream “racism!” from every rooftop — and the last thing the DNC wants is their own rising black star exposing the party’s plantation politics to the world. Better to let her chase the mirage in Texas than risk her torching the whole machine on the way out. Keep the secret buried, keep the optics clean, keep the liability far away.
It’s the same in “stupid states” like New York: Promote the old guard (Schumer’s endless tenure), audition the fresh faces (OAC’s rise), and flush the liabilities (Cuomo’s fall). Crockett’s no Schumer—she’s no threat to win. The DNC knows it; Cornyn’s camp is already running ads calling her “Crazy Crockett.” Her run clears the House primary for a safer blue like Marc Veasey, while she chases a Senate ghost.
Texas laughs last. Crockett’s the punchline, but the DNC’s the joke.
Reader’s Choice: Audition or Awakening?
They audition you with promises of power. Exploit you for the viral moments. Flush you when you’re no longer useful.
Crockett’s buying the lie. Will you?
This isn’t left or right. It’s script or spark.
Choose. The spark is yours.
— Animus Fortis Garrison & Matthew Gerard Garrison Voices of the People — Glowie Rag, December 2025
Spark alive. Will unbroken. Blood unbowed.
References
- Texas Tribune – Jasmine Crockett enters Democratic primary for U.S. Senate – link
- NBC News – Rep. Jasmine Crockett launches Senate run in Texas – link
- CNN – Jasmine Crockett launches Senate bid from Texas as Colin Allred drops out – link
- CBS Texas – Jasmine Crockett announces campaign for Texas Democratic Senate primary – link
- Newsweek – Jasmine Crockett will seek to flip Texas senate seat from GOP – link
- Fox News – Decision day: Trump critic Jasmine Crockett Senate run – link
- Fox 4 News – US Rep Jasmine Crockett files to run for Senate – link
- NBC DFW – Jasmine Crockett makes decision on U.S. Senate run – link
- CBS Texas – Plans for Jasmine Crockett, Marc Veasey 2026 campaigns become more clear – link
- Statesman – Jasmine Crockett makes decision on U.S. Senate run – link
